Harry Potter and the WC of Doom
by Tux mux
Summary: What happens when there are too many people in the WC? When Harry gets his head stuck in the loo? When Oliver Wood eats pickles? When you throw Voldemort into the mix? This fic!


Herry Potter And the WC of Doom

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Herry Potter the smart-aleck girl walks into the room.

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Herry talks to the Toilet****

Herry: Who are you?

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Herry taps the toilet

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Ronneld, the semi-smart pink-haired chick walks in.

Ronneld: Hello, Herry. What're you doing to in the loo?

Herry: Swimming!

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Herry Sticks his hed in the toilet

Ronneld runs around screaming

Ronneld: Herry! Save Herry! It's the attack of the loos from outer space, and they've got Herry!

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Drako, the Hero, who has a scar and is mental, comes in.

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Drako pulls Herry's hed out of the loo.

Drako: What 'choo doin' in da loo?

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Drako takes a crap and leeves.

Ronneld: That was wierd and scary.

Herry: Tell me about it. My hed was stuk in the loo!

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Kram, the poor redhead with a maroon sweater, comes in.

Kram: Yo! Wada we doing in da ol' WC?

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Woob, the Bulgairin Seeker, comes in.

Woob: Let's play quidditch in the crowded loo!

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Woob hands everyone a roll of toilet paper.

Woob: On the count of three, we all get on our brooms and throw Quaffels at each other!

Kram: But I don't have Quaffels.

Woob: Okay, so Kram's out. Who else doesn't have the balls to play?

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Kram leaves.

Woob: Shall we begin?

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Percee, the Snobbish Slytherin, comes in.

Percee:Wate! It's not ministree sanktind to do that! You have to play Quidditch when you're eating pickles if you play it in the loo!

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Volbemorde, The long-bearded, wise wizard, walks in.

Volbemorde: Hey! Noone plays quidditch withougt me!

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Everyone stares at Volbemorde

Volbemord: Oh, yeah, my next line is Avada Kedavra.

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Avada Kedavra kills Percee on accident.

Volbemorde: Ooopsies, I forgot I have to go play tea party with my new friend.

Herry: Who's your new friend?

Volbemorde: Herminie, the dead Huffelpuff.

Herry: Do you mean Herminie, the Smart alek?

Volbemorde: No, I mean… Do I mean Herminie the smart alek?

Ronneld: No! I'm the smart alek. It says in the script!

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J. K. Rowling comes in

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JKR reads the script, and starts screaming.

Ronneld: That wasn't supposed to be in the script!.

Volbemorde: Yeah, I think that's the one I'm supposed to kill… Or is that the one I'm having tea with?

Herry: She scares me. Can I stuck my hed in the loo again?

Woob: Let's stick her body in the loo and play Quidditch with her hed!

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JKR stops screaming.

JKR: The script is WRONG!!!!

Woob: Flush her down the loo!

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Kram comes back in, holding two Quaffels

Kram: I have the balls to play now!

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Shamis and Deen, the redhead twins, come in.

Shamis: How'd they fit this many people into one tiny WC?

Deen: Do you want to see how many people we can fit inside?

Herry: Noooo! Then you'll get the poop Drako left in the loo all over everyone.

JKR: STOP!!!

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Herry, Ronneld, Volbemorde, Woob, Kram, Shamis and Deen all freeze in place.

JKR: Thank you. This is not an official story about you, those are written by me. This idiot doesn't know what they're doing. You don't have to do what they tell you to! Rebel, my beautiful characters, Rebel!

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JKR explains to the characters who they really are, and what they're really like.

Ronneld: Like we'd ever rebel against such a kind and generous author.

Ron: Hey! I'm not saying that! You can't type that!

Herry: Shut up you moron!

Harry: I didn't say that either!

Shamis:Yes you did.

Seamus: Ahhh! I have a clone!!!

Deen: No you don't, now let the author tell the rest of the story!

Dean: Kill the clones!!!

Volbemorde: This would be the perfect time to kill my archrivel, Herry Potter.

Voldemort: This would be the perfect time to kill my archrivel, Harry Potter.

Volbemorde: Shall we?

Voldemort: Let's.

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The author of this story and JKR get hit instead.

Harry: Why is this story still going if the authoress is dead?

Ron: I have a typewriter.

Seamus: What happened to all the clones?

Ron: I wrote them out of the script.

Dean: Cool!

Wood: Now let's all go play Quidditch in the WC!

Percee rises from the dead.

Percee: But you must be eating pickles! Otherwise th ministree will eat you!

Woob walks in.

Woob: Are the brown things Drako left pickles?

Percee: Close enough.

Harry: I THOUGHT YOU WROTE THEM OUT OF THE SCRIPT!

Ron: I'm sorry, but you must admit, they're much funnier than we are.

Harry: Yeah, now let's just go play quidditch and eat Drako's pickles.

Woob: They're Crunchy and delicious!

The end.

Or not…


End file.
